He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
by Demyxx09
Summary: Allen is left with puzzling thoughts after discovering Lavi's little love notes, but is going to have to depend on the Bookman Jr while battling depression. Rated M for future lemon. Sorry about the whole high school crap. I'm not THAT creative.
1. Chapter 1

The cool October air sent chills down his spine. Even though autumn was his favourite season, it was abnormally cold for the time of year.

Children scattered the streets happily as sunset was approaching, and every Halloween, after the children were sent out, the teenagers would creep out of the shadows.

"Oi, Allen"

Lost in thought Allen was staring at the ground littered with red, orange and yellow. Lately it seemed all he was doing was getting lost in his own thoughts. This worried Lavi, a close friend to Allen, and had been for about a year, after Allen joined Pascal's high school for gifted children. The thing is, Allen could see 'demons' and 'ghosts'.

Not many people believed this to be true, which is exactly the reason why he joined PHS.

Lavi wasn't of much use to PHS, but was there anyway, as his grandfather was a bookman, and kept their history. This would soon become Lavi's responsibility.

After a few more gentle nudges Allen awoke from his thought and glanced at Lavi, but only for a second.

"What the heck is wrong with you Allen? You've been doing this for days now..."

"Oh...I'm sorry, Lavi. I've just been doing a large amount of thinking lately."

"Okay, but let me know if anything happens...or has happened…"

Allen stopped his breath, and looked wide eyed at Lavi.

"Has… happened?"

"Well yea. I mean... you would tell me right?"

"Sure."

The silence between them was awkward, until a young boy approached them, asking for candy.

Allen could only thank god that the kid came when he did, or he would have started talking to Lavi, telling him what he was thinking about.

The truth was, Allen was starting to think he liked Lavi. Only a few weeks earlier Lenalee, another close friend told Allen about the much fun she had going through Lavi's diary. Sadly in this diary Lavi had revealed a secret, about someone he truly loved.

He wrote about how much he loved Allen Walker.

About how cute he was when he was so determined, and how he was so well mannered. Or how Allen's eyes shone in the moonlight, and how amazing it was.

Of course Allen never thought any of this to be true, but he never thought of Lavi in the same way after he heard word of this.

At first it just seemed like a prank, until Kanda revealed it to be true.

Kanda had been the first to meet Allen at the high school, crashing into him and sending all his books flying. Kanda was never really in a good mood. 'Teen Angst at its finest' is what Lavi would always say. Sadly this was quite true.

The white haired boy stood up, and offered a hand down to Lavi who was still sitting on the side of the road.

"Wanna go to Kanda's?"

"Are you kidding me?! Why the hell would I want to go there?"

Allen rolled his eyes at the comment suggested, and pulled Lavi to his feet.

"You two do get on sometimes, right?"

"Not really. Gosh beansprout, I'm not a pet rock like he is to you."

"Don't call me that!"

"Hehe…sorry. Anyways, Kanda's?

"Hah. That's what I thought you said."

***

Kanda only lived the next street over, and Lavi lived only 2 houses down from Allen, across the road.

Time seemed to be escaping them abnormally fast that afternoon, which was drifting into night.

Arriving at Kanda's, they were greeted by Crowley, Kanda's friendly neighbour.

Aliester Crowley was 28, but still acted like a kid. Not in an immature way, but a naive and rather shy way. He was polite and compassionate, and was quite the worry wart.

He had only recently moved to Britain, after living his life in Romania.

"Oh. Allen! How nice to see you!"

Lavi let out a small cough to confirm his presence.

"And you too, Lavi, Hehe."

"Haha you too Crow!"

Kanda came down his stairs to see Allen and Lavi at the door.

"Oh so you two got bored of trick or treating with the kiddies already?"

"Very funny, Yuu."

With an evil glare directed at Lavi, he corrected himself just loud enough for Kanda to hear.

"So what have you two been up to Crow...?" Allen chirped as he was let inside along with the redhead.

"Kanda and I?"

Lavi snickered. "Yea, I mean it must have been awfully boring hanging around Kanda all this time…"

Crowley sighed.

"Actually I just got here, I was hoping for some company…"

"What? Isn't that what Miranda is for?"

Crow couldn't help but blush, and twiddle his thumbs.

"She's still at work, and won't be home until later tonight."

"I see. Gosh that clock shop really slave drives her these days! It must be getting awfully hard working for longer and longer for less and less."

"Yes, it is. But she refuses to quit, she loves those clocks. I really don't know why, but I respect that."

Miranda was a 23 year old woman, and was very much like Crow, only 10 times more clumsy. She found time very interesting and had been working in a clock shop for 9 months now, but it recently went under new management, with a rather greedy new owner.

Lavi smiled and turned to Kanda.

"Upstairs?"

"Hey Kanda did you get that same homework as my English class? I think its homework time…"

"HOMEWORK? You gotta be kidding beansprout, I think you mean 'Its time to kick your butt at Guitar Hero' time."

"Haha, maybe that is what I meant."

Kanda rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Crowley just followed upstairs quietly behind his friends.

***

After a few hours of Lavi showing Kanda how it's done in Guitar Hero, Crowley pointed out how late it was getting.

"ITS 10 ALREADY? Oh well no point going home now. Thanks for letting me stay the night, Yuu."

"…If your lucky I would let you sleep on the from porch, bookman."

"Where's Allen?"

..Allen…

Looking at each other they split up to search the house for the white haired teen.

Lavi stumbled upon a snug figure curled up on the downstairs couch. It was Allen, who had found a warm enough blanket and decided he would have a nap. Sweetly hugging a cushion he breathed shallowly in his light sleep.

Lavi couldn't help but stare a few moments longer at the younger boy. The redhead noticed he was inching closer and closer to the sleeping beauty, and was now only about a foot away from his face. Allen had a pink tint to his cheeks, and Lavi had an urge to kiss him, so he did.

His lips dove quickly and took a peck at Allen's. Doing as he wished he looked up suddenly to see Kanda standing in the shadows.

"Ah, Lavi."

"KANDA! What are you...?"

"Its okay, I already know, baka."

"You...WHAT?"

"Lenalee told us, she went through your diary, I told you it was a stupid thing to keep. I mean I know you're a bookman and all bu-"  
"What a little—wait, us?"

"Me...and Allen."

"Allen...knows?"

"Yes, he does, and has since August."

Lavi mindlessly sat on the couch Allen was laying on, and woke the smaller boy.

Eyes peeping open and gazed at the bookman staring at him from above.

"..L...Lavi?"

"Oh, Allen. I'm sorry."

"Mmm, I just needed a nap. Kanda is it okay if I stayed the night?" the white haired boy mumbled.

"Sure. Night Allen."

"G'night Kanda, Lavi."

"…yea."

Lavi's head dropped, and so did his heart. A mixture of frustration and heartbreak was brewing deep within him, and he needed to let it out, one way or another. Kanda could see the pain written across the Bookman's face, and was starting to regret telling him the truth about Lenalee's little discovery.

They started walking upstairs together.

"Listen, Lavi, don't worry about it. Does it really matter? You have tons of hot girls at school always chasing after you, so there's really n-"

"DO YOU THINK I REALLY FUCKING CARE ABOUT THEM?! THEY MEAN NOTHING TO ME, AND ALLEN MEANS EVERYTHI-"

"SHUTUP!" Kanda exclaimed covering Lavi's mouth with one hand.

"Do you want him to worry more or something you idiot?"

Lavi shook his head.

"Then keep it down."

Kanda removed his hand and they continued up the stairs. Meanwhile, Allen turned on the couch with a tear in his eye after hearing Lavi's outburst.

A tear of sadness or joy? Allen didn't exactly know himself.

Kanda laid out a blanket and cover on the bed for him and Lavi, since the bed was rather large, sharing wasn't a problem. Kanda on the far left and Lavi on the far right.

"What did you mean by…worry him MORE, Kanda?"

"Well, after hearing such big news, he's had a lot of thoughts running through his mind, you know? Like the whole, 'Am I Gay?' thing…and...he told me something yesterday.."

"…that was..?"

"That he might like you back."

Lavi was gobsmacked. He didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or scream.

"He...he might like....me?"

"Oi, don't get your hopes up, bookman. He said MIGHT."

"Yea...just the 'might'...means so much."

"Okay, whatever bookman. Night."

"Goodnight, Yuu."


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning turned out to be even more awkward.

Looking rather sluggish, Lavi slumbered downstairs with Kanda following after him. Allen was already up, sitting on Kanda's couch, completely still. His skin looked dead and cold, as was his posture.

Kanda stood, staring at Allen, almost like the stillness was a contagious disease. Still walking halfway down the stairs, Lavi ran right into Kanda who was taking his time staring at the 15 year old boy.

"Oi, Ka-"

Lavi didn't have time to finish his sentence, because a horrible sobbing interrupted it.

Kanda finally snapped out of his daze and ran over to Allen, who was sobbing and crying uncontrollably, but he was amazingly still, like he was paralysed.

Lavi followed Kanda as he was approaching the teary boy, holding himself on the soft blue velvet couch, but the blue wasn't as deep as his sadness, which was now clearly visible since Lavi and Kanda sat on the floor in front of the couch, looking up at Allen, who was still crying, letting out sudden shudders and random mumbling.

"Allen…what happened?"

"..I...g...I go...got..."

The two older boys just sat silently, not knowing what to say, as they had never seen Allen so upset.

Allen let out a wail and a few more stiffs, and gulped down sorrow.

"..a phone call."

After saying his last words, rivers drowned his face, and the hands covering it even further. Lavi grabbed onto Allen's shoulders and shook him slightly.

"Allen, you need to talk to us!"

Allen just looked away from the bookman's face, and fell on his side helplessly. Kanda looked at Lavi with worry all over his face, and Allen was still holding himself, eyes tight shut, still shuddering.

"His phone, check the recent numbers!"

Kanda picked up Allen's phone and looked through the recent received calls.

"I'll get the phone book."

"You don't need to, Lavi."

"Why, we ne-"

"That's the hospital..."

"….The hospital...Kanda?"

They both looked at each other in shock.

"MANA!"

Lavi ran back over to Allen, who was now sitting upright on the velvet blue sea, staring into space, head tilted to the right.

"Allen, what happened to Mana?"

Allen stood up, and walked towards the front door, and opened it ever so slowly. Kanda and Lavi just stood and watched as the younger teen walked out in a trance. The only thing snapping them out of their shock was the sound of the door slamming.

"WAIT! ALLEN"

Lavi jumped in shock and raced out the door onto the street. As he ran out, he noticed the street was still dark. He checked down at his watch, and the face of his watch smiled the time. 6:32 in the morning. He realised something must have woken himself and Kanda up. Hearing a breath behind him, Kanda called out the white haired boy's name.

"Where the fuck did he go?!"

Kanda was looking rather frustrated at this point in time, and Lavi was panicking, running around in circles, searching frantically for the younger white haired boy.

"Lavi, stop this shit..."

"But, we go-"

"Do you think freaking out is gonna find him?! We need to be calm."

The bookman sighed uneasily, and stared at the cobalt haired teen. Standing still, they both took a short moment to look around from where they stood. Lavi's heavy breathing from running was still audible, but another noise could be heard interrupting it. A quiet, but very ear catching shuddering, very close by the 17 year old boys. What was amazing to them, was the eerie echo paired to the small noises being made, overpowering their bodies with sorrow, and chills. Heading towards the noises, they saw Allen curled up in a ball on Miss Gubler's porch.

"Aw man…what are we gonna do with him??"

Lavi reached down to pick Allen up, bridal style, and he could feel that the younger male was still shaking quite badly. They walked down the stairs of the old woman's porch, and headed out onto the street. Allen started falling asleep in Lavi's arms, and Kanda tailed behind them, as the sunrise radiantly glowed behind them.

***

The afternoon sun burnt through his eyes, and he sat up quickly, awakening from his deep slumber. He rubbed his eyes slowly and saw two tall figures standing before him, watching him closely.

"Lavi?"

His small voice begged, and he outstretched a hand towards the tallest figure, that visibly had red orange hair. The figure reached out as well, grabbing onto Allen's hand, and pulled him into his chest, which was much wider than Allen's. His face buried into the bookman's shirt and his arms wrapped around his waist. Now that the glare was out of the younger boy's eyes he could see it was definitely Lavi, as he looked up to see the older male smiling gently. Kanda stood back and slowly crept away from the moment, and walked down the stairs of the front porch, which is where they fell asleep after the ordeal they had the earlier morning.


	3. Chapter 3

"Allen, are you okay?"  
"Yea I J- WAIT! MANA!"

Allen managed to escape from the bookman's embrace, and stared going frantic.

"What about Mana?"

"We have to get to the hospital, quick!"

Allen scattered about frantically for a while longer before he noticed the confused look on Kanda's face.

"Kid...just sit down. Then perhaps you'll be calm enough to explain."

Allen spent a few moments catching this breath, and his eyes darting around for a short minute.

"Okay...earlier this morning, I got a phone call...from the hospital. Mana, has been seriously injured"

"Beansprout..."

Kanda seemed to be the only one thinking straight at the current time. He picked up the dark blue hoodie hanging over the fencing of Lavi's porch, and threw Lavi a black shoulder bag.

"C'mon kiddo. You're not going to shut up until you see that Mana is fine, right? We'll catch a bus to the hospital, should only take us about 20 minutes."

Allen was mesmerized by Kanda's kind thought, or, somewhat of a kind thought, and immediately turned to Lavi.

"Do you really think Mana is fine?"

"Of course I do beansprout. In fact, I know he's fine~"

If anything all the reassurance made Allen feel even a little more uneasy, but he didn't have a choice but to stay optimistic.

The woman's smile slowly subsided, as did Allen's simultaneously.

"Mana Walker was released earlier today."

"Ah, is that so?" Allen said cheerily.

"Well you are the only family he has. You will need to fill out the paperwork. His time of death is in the top right corner..."

"W…What?" Allen froze. His breathing ceased. His eyes widened.

"Y-You just said he was released..." Lavi interrupted.

"He was released, but no longer alive." The woman replied informingly.

Allen couldn't believe what he was hearing. Black flowed into his sight, covering the now spinning room. A Vortex of sorrow, forced him into sleep. He hit the floor with a thud as his consciousness left him. Lavi rushed to the younger boys' aid as Kanda proceeded to argue with the woman who was serving them.

"Where was he released to?"

"I believe it was an Undertaker on 13th street."

Kanda gave the woman a rather rude look, grabbed the paperwork, and signalled to Lavi that they were leaving. Lavi picked up Allen and rested him in his arms the usual bridal style. Thoughts were ripping through Lavi's head painfully.

'_What on earth is going to happen now?'_

'_What can we do...Allen isn't going to survive with such a shock like this...'_

'_Where will Allen stay?'_

'_What am I going to say to him?'_

'_Allen is so pale right now…I hope he'll be okay…'_

'_He fainted, but we were just in a hospital…we probably should have left him there. No. He wouldn't want that. He'd want to take care of Mana, even if he can't speak, I know that's what he wants.'_

Kanda waved down a Taxi, and they all boarded, Lavi slipped into the back first, resting Allen's head on his lap, with his body spread across the other 2 seats. Kanda then jumped in the front.

"Take us to 13th street." Kanda grunted.

"Kid, you realise that's within walking distance, right?"

"Do I look like I give a fuck? Drive."

The Taxi driver rolled his eyes at the blue-haired teen, and pulled into the traffic. Lavi couldn't help but stroke Allen's soft white hair, as he held him gently. Suddenly Allen started to mumble, and his eyes slowly opened. His hand glided up the seat, moving onto Lavi's thigh, and he started trembling, and tensed.

"Lavi…did that…really just happen?"

"Just…calm down Allen. It won't be any better if you flip out. I know it's hard to get a grip at the moment…but you need to…for Mana."

Allen finally untensed, and gently shut his eyes.

"Thankyou, Lavi."

"Allen…" Lavi continued to gently stroke Allen's soft, white hair. "Allen, I…"

Silence overcame the vehicle.


End file.
